To be honest, I didn’t want to write this post. As I sit here typing I still don’t really want to to write this post. But I promised myself that with this career path I chose I would share the ugly too. Not just the uplifting motivational posts that you usually get from me, but the times that I’m struggling. I’m stubborn in the way that I have a hard time admitting when I’m not being super awesome.
About 1 year ago I started my dream career in the health and fitness world as a personal trainer, and about 6 months ago God’s will with this plan hit me like a brick wall. My plan for my dream finally came to life and I have been working non stop ever since to make this vision a reality (more exciting details on that later). When the works of all this first started it filled me with fire of excitement and motivation that kept me running better than coffee (only time you’ll ever hear me say that). Unfortunately lately that magic and motivation has start to run dry. So here I sit in the middle of this grand plan that is still being worked on, only I have to fight with myself ever single day to get the work done. It feels more like I’m over tired and stressed than high on life and excited. So my point here is what do you do when the magic fades? When the excitement ends and the work and stress become real?
For those that don’t know I struggle with anxiety which makes the unmotivated feeling I get a bit more dramatic. It’s frustrating to feel this way and I have found myself many times sitting wondering why. Why isn’t this exciting anymore? Why don’t I want to work on this when it is truly my greatest passion? It’s not that I don’t want to do it anymore, it truly is my dream and brings so much joy to my heart.I don’t know that there really is one reason though I have some theories. Fear being one of them. It’s scary as hell to actually work for your dream. It’s hard. It’s a lot easier to just do your regular full time job then add extra work on top of it that doesn’t pay off until a lot later (hopefully).
While I don’t have the exact reason as to why the excitement and motivation fades, I do know it will come back again. I know this is just a hard season/phase. And I know this is something every one will go through. So for now, I fight. I make myself do the little things each day that I know I have to do even though I don’t want to. I remind myself constantly throughout the day why I’m doing it and why it will all be worth it in the end. I read motivational quotes and pray whenever I feel like I want to just give up. I look to family and friends for encouragement. Some days aren’t very pretty and I try to be littler easier on myself through times like this. I give myself a break and walk away when I need to. Sometimes doing something the best that you can looks differently. So I do the best that I can do right now and remind myself that for now it is enough.
So for anyone who finds themselves in the same season of life, when the magic fades, do your best to just keep fighting. Remember it will spark up again. And reach out to me so we can encourage each other 🙂